News, Etc.

Mutant Fish To Leap Off Screen And Bite Your Face Off

That’s right, Dimension Films’ remake of the 1978 horror classic, Piranha, is going to be released in 3-D when it hits theaters July 24, 2009. Or, it could be 2010 knowing the way Weinsteins hold back releases. Hey, 2010? Isn’t that the year we make contact?

The new film is going to be directed by Alexandre Aja, according to Shock Till You Drop, who of course previously directed the Hills Have Eyes remake. At this rate, his next film will probably be a remake of The Howling.

Normally, we’re not big fans of this whole 3-D thing. Frankly, Beowulf just gave us a headache and the dizzying animation didn’t do anything except make us want to take a nap. However, if there could be a cooler film being shown in 3-D than Piranha, we don’t know what it could be. We expect at least one scene of a killer fish leaping out of the screen and then back in to bite somebody in the nuts or on a boob, like the way Snakes on a Plane would have been halfway decent if that were in 3-D, perhaps. And, honestly, we only saw the original Piranha in its entirety for the first time on cable just a few months ago. But, it’s an awesome movie and the 3-D angle is a good idea here.

© 2008 Cinema Snark.